Wednesday, January 27, 2010

City on a Hill

This morning I took Mariah for a breakfast date at Panera with some friends. Just a few minutes after sitting down, a curious man (probably in his 30s) cut straight to the chase and asked if Mariah was adopted. I told him she was and then just turned my attention back to my friends and our conversations. A few moments later, he started asking me about the adoption process and if she was adopted domestically, etc. It was actually the first time I've been asked point blank if Mariah was adopted, without her daddy being there, so that was odd. I usually assume that people just think her daddy is African American or something. If he had been, that would have been a really awkward conversation today!!!

Anyway, I wasn't offended, but just kind of shocked, actually. In the 16 months we've had her, I've only been asked by other adoptive moms if she was adopted and never right off the bat! I am always happy to share our story, in part. It is nothing that we hide or keep private. Of course, there are parts of Mariah's story that are just for her and our family, but as for the basics of how we got her, I'm an open book! It did get me thinking today, though about how we will handle it as she becomes more aware. Right now Mariah doesn't know if someone asks about her relationship to me. But, in a few years, she will! I don't want her to have to think about it or for it to be an issue at all. So, in that respect, I was a little concerned. I really pray that people will be sensitive enough as she gets older.

Take a few minutes to read this post: . It is wonderfully written and she shares my sentiment, but I'll pass on the 11 kids!!



Mariah said...

There is a book you should get called "20 Things I Wish my Adoptive Parents would have told me". Haley has it maybe she will let you borrow it. It really helped when my in-laws adopted Kelli.

Molly said...

I love this and forgot about her blog...thanks for the reminder! She did say it so well! I reposted on my blog!!!!

Also, I cannot believe you haven't had more questions! We get them all of the time. You are right, it is a bigger deal when the kids get older and understand more. Owen hates it because, well, he just doesn't like being the subject of conversation.

Love you and miss you guys!

Molly said...

Hey Mariah...I can't find that book on amazon. I will search elsewhere, but it sounds fabulous. Maybe its 20 Things I wish my Adoptive Parents Knew??? Would love to know either way! I've read the latter and it's a fabulous book! Just curious!

Kara Scharrer said...

I loved that you shared this story of you at Panera. I also loved the blog you linked to and gained a lot of insight by reading it. Thank you.

Love you.